. PERIOD!

The kinder garden class started as every other day. And it was the 'Show and tell' time. When it was little Tom's turn, he went up to the board; wrote ' . '; and told the class that it is a period and went back to his place. The students and teacher were confused. So the teacher asked him:

Teacher: What is this Tom?

Tom: It is a period.

Teacher: And why do you think it is important?

Tom: Well, it should be. Today morning, my teen age sister told us that she has missed a period and my dad had a heart attack and mom fainted!

I found this joke online and thought of starting this entry with it. And you guessed it right, it is about the menstrual cycle, or the periods as it is usually called. I do not know about everyone, but I sort of knew that I would be having my periods after a certain age (but when, how and why was a mystery till it actually happened). All I knew was, the family of the girl will hold a big function for her and after that she will be considered a lady (I do not believe this now as my parents still tell me that I am not old enough to take a correct decision) and will get her periods periodically.

It all happened one day, I was in 6th standard and my Biology class was handled by Ms. X. That was when our science was spilt into Biology, Physics and Chemistry. So, we were all staring open mouthed at our teachers as they read through the syllabus and was threatening us with the if-you-dont-study-you-will-be-a-cowherd-in-future sort of explanation. So, I was telling about Ms. X. We did not know that her favorite ritual at the start of every year is to ask the class as to who all have attained their age (meaning who all started getting periods. It is told as attained their age because, in early times, the girls are married off at a pretty young age: like 4 or 5. So when they get their periods, they can bear kids as they have 'attained the age' to start a family. If the girl was fortunate enough to not to be married till then, she will be married of immediately). In our 6th standard we did not know what it was and hence stared at her with even more blank faces till a guy stood up. His reason? He passed 5th standard. When I think now, it is funny. But back then, he was a hero! A guy stood up in class in the first day in 6th standard (In my school, kinder garden to 5th standard was housed in one building and 6th to 12th in the other. So we had the glory of being the intelligent ones when we were in 5th standard which drastically reversed when we entered 6th grade. In this building we were little ones who knew nothing).

And I came back home and asked my mom. She kinda explained it to me and I kinda understood. And Ms. X's tradition continued. In the 7th grade, our teachers decided that we were talking a lot and made girls and boys sit together. So it is always a girl and boy sitting next to each other. As for me, I had my best buddies, A1 and A2, sitting either side of me. And the 4th student on the bench was a girl, let me call her Y. She never liked to sit between boys and hence it was Y, A, me, A. The As switched places as they liked. And they always press the cock-a-doodle-dooo button on my then-famous talking watch during the prayer session and get me in trouble- yes, we were that thick friends.

Back to Ms. X, she asked her famous question on the first day of our 7th grade and Y stood up. Then Ms. X launched into an hour long speech about how girls should be careful; should hold her values high and you know, our-culture-is-too-good-to-be-true-we-should-not-be-tricked-by-foreign-culture things. And right on cue, A1 and A2 started pestering me as what is the meaning of attaining age. I got out of it by telling then to ask Y as she was the one who stood and not me. And she shouted at them all the things she could think of and stormed away. And the day progressed without much ado. After our classes ended, I was the last one to leave the class (I have no idea why).

And A2 was waiting for me. When he spotted me, he rushed over and said that he figured out what attaining age was. I was like, here we go again. What he told next still causes me to laugh out loud. A2: 'Hey, last year, yen akka ku neraya jewels pottu, podava katti vittu, big celebration ellaam panninaanga.. athu thaane??', in the cutest i-though-a-lot-about-it-now-bulb-is-glowing-in-my-head kid voice (roughly translates to 'last year my family held a big celebration for my sis and made her wear a saree and adorned her with jewels. that is when you attain age right?'). I burst out laughing at his tone and told him that he was a genius as he had figured it out.

Anyway, next day, Y's mom came to school and told my teacher that Y will not sit with boys anymore and hence our sitting set up was changed to Y, me, A, A. It was not fun commenting on our teachers anymore. But we had our fun by having a drama club for school, which, is for another post. But as different as Ms. X be, she was the one who helped us, bad drawers (artists), during our 10th board practicals.. We owe her that. And around that time, A2 changed school as his family was relocating. And our gang lost all contacts with him as it was the pre internet-in-home-or-cafe era. So, A2 (I hope you remember our sweet school days), if you are reading this (the probability is pretty much equal to zero), please do contact me through the blog.

The Doomsday That was not !

Once again, it happens.. It happened in 2000. It happened in 199x (when some freaking comet was supposed to hit Earth or Jupiter- hey, I was a kid then. I dunno the real reason) and it will happen in 2012 (according to Mayans). What I am taking about is- the world was about to end on May 21, 6 PM EST (Cos, Jessus follows EST)..! But somehow, the Almighty wanted to procrastinate it. Lucky us.. I was so damn afraid when a massive earthquake of magnitude 0.0 (thanking my friend Bredny for the idea) hit New York. But for God's sake, nothing happened.

I have seen numerous predictions. When I was a kid, it was a comet hitting Jupiter and then being deflected towards us. I still remember staying up late with my mom and watching some Live news in Hindi without understanding a single word. Then when 2000 neared, again world's end was there. The reason?? Who knows? May be because the computers had the 2K problem. And in 2012, its the Mayan prediction and scientists giving a lot of scientific explanation.

But you have to sit back and relish the reason for the recent prediction which failed. GAYS!! You read it right. Its is because, God hates Gays.. Are you freaking kidding me?  Come on, people have indulged in same gender sex even before they found fire. Even animals have these desires and changes- did you not see Jurassic park?? Of all the reasons I heard for the end of the world, this takes the cake.. You know what God loves the everyone and everything he created- be it straight or gay or what not. Good thing I did not publish this on May 21. If I had, I would not had the pleasure of including the update.

The guy who predicted this was questioned repeatedly and he has come out with an answer- he miscalculated the doomsday! What he means to say is that, May 21 was the spiritual Judgement day (when God finds out who is good and who is bad). After he has separated good and bad, he will end the world on October 21. Yep, the guy gave us a new date. The good will go to heaven (i.e., they will just disappear to heaven- no death) and the bad will stay in Earth while natural calamities destroy the world.

I did not give this prediction much thought before I read some incidents because of the prediction. Many of the families believing this prediction spent their life time savings on trips and to enjoy before the world ended. Now that it did not happen, they have been left with a big debt. So what is Mr. Camping going to do about this? At least he can help them as the Family Radio has got billions and billions in funds from its followers. And the most moving story was of a little girl in Russia who committed suicide after she did not go to heaven at 6 PM EST on May 21. She wrote in her diary that she was not fortunate enough to go to heaven and did not want to stay on Earth and suffer through the rapture. Hence she took her own life.

So, it is to you people, who go about making predictions. Please stop. Many people and kids are loosing their life because of this. Literally!



P.S: I mentioned that Jesus goes by EST just because the prediction mentioned that Lord Jesus was going to destroy Earth rather than a common term God or the Almighty.


Update: The reason given by Mr. Camping for the rapture was not entirely gays. But he did mention in an interview that the success of gay relationships is an indication that the world is going to end.

Shoot the questions..!

I have not been updating my blog for a way long time.. The reason is my guilt. When I sit to write about something, I am guilty that I am not searching for an employment (yea baby! I graduated.) and when I am searching for the open positions, I feel that I need to write something in order to take the tension and stress of finding a job. So, I end up doing nothing but play online and watch the newly released fightless movies.. As my friend Karthik said, 'Vela irrukaravanukku aayiram kavala.. Vela illaathavanukku ore kavala thaan' (People with job has thousand worries. People without a job has only one worry: to find a job)

And recently I have been reading blogs.. And stumbled upon these set of questions. So why not, I will try them too.. And yea, since these are confessions (like the ones done in church), you cannot use this against me

  

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.
 
Well, I have 2. One in my forehead and one in my left leg. I got the one in leg when I was in UKG. My periyamma (aunt) and athimber (her hubby) were visiting us and athimber had a TVS 50 (I think so. It was small anyway). I was so eager in going with him in the scooter that I started pestering them since they entered our house and at last, athimber agreed to take me on a ride. I was so happy and jumped on the scooter and went for a ride. I had no clue that my left leg hung right next to the silencer and my skin was getting scorched. I was in the adrenalin high as I was going in a scooter for the first time in my life. It was my mom who noticed that I was hurt when I came back. Instantly my dad started scolding my mom for being careless (I am his princess!). As the thrill started going away, I started crying and my parents went running to a doc who cleaned the wound and gave me an injection (which is really tough. When they need to give me an injection, the doc and my dad usually have to chase me down and hold me). But I was crying so hard that appa bought me a frooti..! Yea, I could get hurt for that.. If you are thinking whats the big deal about frooti, well, then you have no idea about the tambrahm household in  the 1980s till about 2000.


The one in forehead occurred when I was in 3rd standard. Me and my thambi (younger bro) were running up and down the stairs chasing each other. And I fell down the humpty dumpty way. There was a square cut right above my right eye which I did not realize. So I went inside our home and washed my face: the water was red. At that exact instant my chitti (aunt) saw me and made a speed call to my dad. And I went and saw my face in the mirror: big mistake. I looked so horrible that I started crying even before the pain started. Then my dad came home; took me to the nearby 24*7 hospital where each compounder and nurse took hold of my legs and hands; my dad held my head. And the doc stitched the gaping hole back. I stayed with the bandage for some weeks (long enough for the school to exempt me from the quarterly exams). When the stitch was removed, I was walking looking up at the sky thinking that if I look down, that square piece in my forehead would fall off! 



2.What does your phone look like? 
Now it is LG rumor.. It is just another phone with no characteristic. The only reason that I got this phone is that it was the only nice looking phone that was free with the 2 year contract.

3.What is on the walls of your bedroom? 
Now?? Since I shift houses every year in Buffalo, NY, it is filled with all the god pictures my mom gave me (to guard me from evil) and the pictures of my family and friends. And yea, some motivational posters..



4. What is your current desktop picture?
Used to be Prince Williams. But after he got married, it is a picture from NASA showing the earth at night..

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?
I think that if 2 people like each other, they have the right to be with each other irrespective of their sex too..

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
A job!!!!

7 . What time were you born?
Afternoon... And when I was born, MGR thought to himself, 'Another great being has born. Now she will help the world and give them hope. I can rest in peace..' He passed away exactly 10 days after I came to this world.

8. Are your parents still together?
Yep yes and yeah!!

9. Last person who made you cry?
My professor... When he gave me low grade..

10. What is your favorite perfume / cologne? 
Well, it used to Axe.. Now it is Hollister's Newport beach.. (I always use the perfume I like irrespective of the sex it is meant for)

11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex? 
Hair is usually on the darker side- dark Brown to black. And eye color is something deep, dark and mysterious: for example- deep blue, deep green, amber, brown or black..

12. What are you listening to? 
A random playlist with Vivek's comedies..

13. Do you get scared of the dark?
Usually.. It is mostly scared of a place when it is dark rather than darkness itself..

14. Do you like pain killers? 
I live on them at times to escape from my sinus headaches..
 
15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

If I had just met them.. But when I get the guts to ask them out, they turn out not to be my kind.. If they are my kind, they already have a GF.. :( All good guys are taken..
 
16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

Poori masala with korma from Saravana Bavan..
 
17. Who was the last person you made you mad?
My neighbors's pup Dino... In a person, it is my room mate when he over fried my spring roll..
 
18. Who was the last person who made you smile?

My pet hamster Maaku.. And in a person, the driver of the Bus I rode today evening..

Hopefully I will get back to applying for open positions.. But you can never tell..